Diary * 主人札记

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种子

今晚喝自家煮的银耳红枣粥,不小心吃下了红枣籽。忽然想起刚看的那本《枪,钢铁和细菌》的书。里面说人和动物的胃是不能消化种子的。大至桃子核(这好像咱也吞不下去),小到草莓籽,都能幸免于动物的消化程序。植物把种子藏在果实里,就是为了让动物以此将种子撒到更广阔的地方。

书的作者还说,有不畏精神的读者可以自己考证种子的“结实”。不过,现在的人们是不能帮枣树的忙了。再者,枣树也不需要人的协助。一切都被工厂化了。种子变成了可量化生产的商品,植物动物也成了水流线上的产物。

从上帝创造世界万物,到今天种子不再有意义的“结实”,人类社会的进程是否也曾让上帝惊诧不已?

走在九寨沟里,深深的吸一口气,肺好像到了天堂。心想如果把这空气,这样蓝的天,这样白的云,放到北京和上海,那会是什么感觉?

是的,人们已经富有了,大楼已经比纽约更现代了,餐厅已经奢华至极。可生活最基本的东西 - 呼吸,却倒退至世界末尾。即使大家都汽车洋房了,看着永远灰着的天,吸着刺鼻的黄沙空气,你会幸福吗?

九寨沟至成都飞行40分钟。从机场往外望,是一片黄霰霰的雾,马路对面的标牌已经无法看清楚。其实,一个城市的污染只需较短的时间。至少我小时候,还记得自己城市的天是蓝的,云是白的。而且污染只集中在城市。开车出城两个小时,就又能看见天空了。

但据说污染治理起来比当初弄脏要难的多,需要的时间长的多。不可靠的说法,加洲污染治理用了大约十几二十年。当然,还大家一个蓝天还没有成为人们与政府的重要话题。也许,三四十年后的中国城市能够重现蓝天?

“然而夜气很清爽,真所谓“沁人心脾”,我在北京遇着这样的好空气,仿佛这是第一遭了。” - 鲁迅《社戏I》

在杭州萧山酒店附近的背山面水豪宅。房子很大,但间距挺小。据说都在千万以上。

湖里的黑白天鹅。这湖好像就叫天鹅湖。

第一次去杭州的河坊街。在这里发现了许多儿时记忆里的好东西。先看到这个传统的老中药铺子。门面两人高的墨字树在粉白墙上,跨过高高的木门槛,是阴冷冷的店堂,两边满墙的小抽屉,上面写着许多奇怪的名字。

上学时鲁迅一段描写买药的文字印象深刻。是《呐喊》自序,又找了来,却原来只有这么一段:

“我有四年多,曾经常常,——几乎是每天,出入于质铺和药店里,年纪可是忘却了,总之是药店的柜台正和我一样高,质铺的是比我高一倍,我从一倍高的柜台外送 上衣服或首饰去,在侮蔑里接了钱,再到一样高的柜台上给我久病的父亲去买药。回家之后,又须忙别的事了,因为开方的医生是最有名的,以此所用的药引也奇 特:冬天的芦根,经霜三年的甘蔗,蟋蟀要原对的,结子的平地木,……多不是容易办到的东西。”

还有老北京风味茶馆,喜欢的是里面的木屋顶,木桌子,木条凳。看起来很古老也很原汁原味,使我想起黑白老照片。这样式真的和清末相仿,不同的是,照片里的人又黑又瘦,一只脚搭在凳子上,脸上一副对摄影师疑惑的神态。

“弹棉花嘞!”这手艺真是有年头没见了。

小时候,一年几次会看到两个全身糊满白棉絮的人出现在院子里,奋力的弹一把弓一样的东西,把那积满灰尘的死棉被重新变得又白又软。

“锃--锃--”那声音听久了就成为噪音,也许还烦过那些占了我们跳沙包地盘的人。可现在重逢,却是两眼泪汪汪。

另,还见到卖传统香包的。怀疑的拿起闻了闻,又一扇记忆的大门被打开。闭眼沉醉了半天,然后对惊异的售货员说:“这味道我已经二十年没闻到了。”

走在河坊街,如同走在我童年记忆的小路上。一种生活离我们远去,也许它并不美丽,却依然让我们恍若隔世。

说点大事吧:美食从来是我一直期待的。这次外出吃的次数不多。先来条豆豉鱼。

西湖醋鱼

绍兴醉鱼

酸菜鱼。这次怎么全跟鱼干上了?

来个鸡吧,经典辣子鸡。

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在布鲁克林的vintage商店里买了一双白色钩锈的手套,看起来像是1920-1950年代的。没想到看一个老电影时里面的女士穿了一双相似的手套:同样的花纹和样式。电影讲的是1900-1920年代纽约的故事。一百年后,手套还在,只是没法穿它了。

对现在时尚杂志和T台上的东西喜欢不起来,对那些营养不良的模特也只有可怜:那么瘦,根本不好看。五六十年前,那些又瘦又高的女人们也许帮忙够些高货架上的东西还算是个优势。三四时年代的模特,如梦露,都是健康的,匀称的,充满朝气的正常人。她们圆润的脸如同文艺复兴时油画里的女人,丰满而光泽。希腊罗马时候的女性也是有着圆润的弧线,像一株株健康茁壮成长的幼苗。

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追求病态,骨感(干?)如骷髅般的女性也只是几十年前突然成为某个灵感枯竭的时尚人士的稻草(也许Lisa带了个坏头?),之后便如野火般烧遍了人们的审美。我们现在需要一场时尚复兴,重新回归自然美,回归正常人体美,回归经典和优雅。

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(这时尚就搞不懂)

送上个有意思的:中国版圣母和基督

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奥巴马与中国学生的townhall视频,让人不忘的是那些一个个坐的笔挺的中国学生们。他们有的身穿休闲毛衣,有的一身黑色西服,但个个神情谨慎,举止小心,倒显得仿佛奥巴马是本应该生龙活虎的学生。

奥巴马珍贵的一个多小时就这样在无关痛痒的问题中耗费掉了。这样的对话好像比被仍了臭鞋更糟糕。至少那过激的行动旗帜鲜明的表达了自己的立场。我不赞同扔鞋子,但我同样时刻准备着那一天,所有进入会场的人必须脱鞋子。

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Below are from early November – the last of autumn.

One of the November days, greeted by the poetic sky on the walk home. Shuuu….stop and look up…

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Great movies…from one from ten, these two are ten – perfect films. I love them – love them!

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I re-watched God Father III recently. After getting duped by the Vatican on the Immobiliare takeover deal, Michael Corleone concluded: "your tactics are despicable."

That would be a fitting description for Saks credit card. Last December, tempted by those beautiful shoes on sale at the store, I applied for a Saks Mastercard. I got my beautiful shoes and paid off the balance immediately. For months, the card laid in my wallet without me ever touching it. One day, out of pity, I used the card to buy a ski jacket in Paragon.

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As always, I tried to pay it off immediately. The bill did not come, so I called customer service to pay it over the phone, surrendering an extra fee for the service. Five months later, a letter from one of my other credit cards came, informing me that my credit line has been cut due to a delinquent payment.

It took half day of talking to customer service reps (usually preceded by conversing with a recording machine that made me feel super intelligent) to find out where the delinquent payment was from. So when I was paying off my ski jacket on the phone, the customer rep got my account number wrong and the transaction was never completed. But Saks never informed me of the failed transaction.

Adding to the complication is that Saks credit card has two credit lines, one with Saks Stores, another with Mastercard. Purchases within Saks stores is recorded on the Saks credit line, outside of Saks is recorded on the Mastercard creditline. One does not know what's going on with the other. It explains why the delinquent payment was never made known to me as I checked numerous times with Saks stores that my Saks card was "clean."

Because the fault was completely on Saks' behalf, a manager waived all the late fees and other charges relating to that delinquent payment. She also said Saks would inform credit agencies on the error. But this experience made me look at those beautiful shoes with a different light now. Was it worth the trouble?

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Then mid-year sales came, and some really beautiful dresses went on sale at Saks. The pain was easily forgotten and I gorged on them, buying several Missoni and others. At checkout, the sales lady asked, would you like to put them on your Saks card for an additional 10% off? Why not.

It took me a while to figure out how this "despicable tactics" works. Several days later, when I went back to pay off the purchase in cash – as I was counting the stash of $20 bills, it dawned on me. Suppose I want to return any of my Missoni, I would not be getting back my cash. Rather, I would get store credit. In another word, Saks is locking in the revenue whenever I purchase with my Saks card. Aha!

This is such a revelation. We've all heard about 20% interest rate and secret fees. But there are so many other forms of …… despicable tactics. I've only learned one of them. Just think, the so called "reward" program, "give away" sales, coupons, gift cards…all those misnamed tactics to squeeze each dollar out of our wallet.

What can we do? Michael Corleone wasn't able to defeat those crooks dressed in red robes in the movie. It took one real priest for the Immobiliare deal to go through. And that one real priest was whom Michael Corleone confessed to. The salvation is within each one of us.

Quit shopping. Quit the temptation. Quit the vanity – At least until the next big sales comes.

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“There are cases where people who failed can suddenly make a go of it. In the U.S., you can get your second or third chance. In business school, we say that’s one of the virtues of this country.”

– Richard Sylla, economic and financial historian at New York University’s Stern School of Business, commenting on some people on some street starting some firm.

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A little rain, misty, refreshing breeze – the perfect weather for a day of golf at Crystal Springs in New Jersey.The whole course, and the hills at far as the eye could see, belongs to you alone.

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禅,英文叫做Zen. Zen Mountain Monastery is about 15 minutes from the little town Woodstock。周六到的,住在对过的一家B&B。在露台上静坐。

然后四处走走。写下:“在山里,自认为能够清静下来,思考,深呼吸,彻悟。空气中充满了香甜的味道。那气味发自于没有人工污染的大地,土壤;来自于那浓绿浅绿的树叶,来自于小草小花,来自于昆虫蜜蜂,也许还来自于月亮。这香甜的味道是多么新奇,多么让人欣喜与平静。”

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夜晚仍然是凉,裹了毯子,在庭院里的火堆边。

周日一早去了寺庙。先是吟唱了许多经。第一便是Heart Sutra (摘节):

Shariputra, form does not differ from emptiness

Emptiness does not differ from form

That which is form is emptiness

That which is emptiness form

The same is true of feelings, perceptions, formations, consciousness

Shariputra, all dharmas are marked with emptiness

They do not appear nor disappear

Are not tainted nor pure

Do not increase nor decrease

Therefore in emptiness: no form, no feelings, no perceptions, no formations, no consciousness

No eyes, no ears no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind, no color, no sound, no smell, no taste, no touch, no object of mind, no realm of eyes

Until no realm of mind-consciousness

No ignorance and also no extinction of it

Until no old-age and death and also no extinction of it

No suffering, no origination, no stopping, no path, no cognition, also no attainment with nothing to attain

只看出那第一句是色既是空,空既是色。色不易空,空不易色。

然后双腿盘着打坐30分钟。然后举行仪式庆祝一个女学生升级。看到一个剃了头的女和尚,坐着纹丝不动好久好久,暗暗感叹(只需自己尝试盘腿打坐20分钟便知)。

还没在山里呆够,临行前看到一个艺术家门上的画。

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